Crab Cakes from Fresh Claws!

Pretty, right? Well, shit’s about to go south in a big way.

You know how you go the farmer’s market and get all inspired or some shit? Yeah, happens to me all the time. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn’t.

We were buying shrimp from the Shrimp Guy and saw these pretty crab claws, fresh from the May River (it’s really a bay, so salt water…it’s complicated). Anywhoo, I thought, “Pretty crab claws! Let’s make crab cakes from them!”

I brought them home and gave them a little bath in boiling water for 5 minutes or so. As they cooled, I congratulated myself on having all the right equipment for the job, and got set up to harvest sweet chunks of meat from these babies.

1.45 hours in.

I cut claws. I scooped with the wee metal spoons….

An hour and a half later I had fucking crab confetti.

And not much of it. Barely enough for two small, kinda gritty, crab cakes from a pound of claws.

If this were a math equation, if would look like this:

1 pound claws + 1.5 hours = fucking disappointment

In conclusion, this is not the way to get chunks of crab meat for crab cakes. Instead, buy the best lump crab you can - either on line or in a local store.

Or do like my classy friend Rebecca and get a couple of clusters of king crab legs. Thaw those bitches and crack ‘em for gigantic chunks of delectable crab. She just snacks on that shit while she sips champagne. I endorse this behavior 100%.